


i want you to see tomorrow

by thatsformetoknow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, OFC - Freeform, shiro reflecting on their time at war, this is angsty, with shance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21785869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsformetoknow/pseuds/thatsformetoknow
Summary: The funny part is that they wanted this. “This” being a term that Shiro likes to use lightly. “This” being that they’d signed up for the Galaxy Garrison with dreams of becoming pilots, of flying out to the stars and making new discoveries out there. Wonderful and amazing discoveries, and instead they’d found this. A war that they’d somehow become in charge of fighting the losing side, and Shiro was finding it more and more difficult to believe that any of them were ever going to make it out of this alive. How had they been so arrogant to believe that all they’d find out here was dust and rock?
Relationships: Lance/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	i want you to see tomorrow

It happens slowly. It’s something that Shiro wishes he’d taken notice of before, but they’ve all got such big things going on right now, that everything else seems to just slip through the net. It’s a war. It’s probably one of the biggest wars that this universe has ever seen, and it’s clear that none of them are going to come out unscathed. Pidge is fifteen, and Shiro’s twenty-five, and everyone else is in the middle at seventeen and eighteen. They’re too young for this. 

Somewhere along the way that young little boy with bright eyes looking up at the plastic stars on his ceiling and wrapping himself in kitchen foil for halloween turned into this; their broken mess of a “leader”, strung out and worn thin. He’s their leader, but he can’t sleep through the night. He’s responsible for these people, some of which he barely knew, and some of which he loved. Now they’re all his family, and he’d die protecting them. He doesn’t know what the universe would do without any of the paladins of Voltron, but he knows that he’d rather it be him than anyone else. 

The funny part is that they wanted this. “This” being a term that Shiro likes to use lightly. “This” being that they’d signed up for the Galaxy Garrison with dreams of becoming pilots, of flying out to the stars and making new discoveries out there. Wonderful and amazing discoveries, and instead they’d found this. A war that they’d somehow become in charge of fighting the losing side, and Shiro was finding it more and more difficult to believe that any of them were ever going to make it out of this alive. How had they been so arrogant to believe that all they’d find out here was dust and rock?

There are civilisations out here beyond anything Shiro could ever have dreamt up; more than anyone could have ever dreamt up, and it’s not what he wanted, no. It’s _more_. It’s incredible and it’s wonderful and it’s amazing, but all Shiro wants to do is go home and see his mom. That’s all any of them want to do, really. Just go _home_. 

They’re all worn thin, and close to breaking. It had taken a little while to get here, and they’d put up one hell of a fight, but when there’s no end in sight… and it’s never a good one… how do you keep going? How do you keep going knowing that you’re going to lose? That you’re going to lose everything you love, everything you hold dear. How do you keep trying to win, and knowing that you can’t?

Shiro makes plans with Coran and Allura and they set their courses as they always do, and yes, they help people, and that’s what makes it worth it. That’s what makes them keep going because maybe they’re never going to win, maybe they’re all going to die out here and in the end, the Galra are going to destroy everything anyway… but if they can keep them at bay, even just for a little bit. If they can give someone- _anyone_ \- another day, another sunrise, then it’s worth it, even if it’s destroying them. 

That’s what they do, isn’t it? _Defenders of the Universe?_ They defend people; they’re heroes, and that’s what heroes do. They bleed themselves dry for everyone else, and they are, they really are. It’s hard to think about the bubbly people that got whisked away by the Blue Lion all that time ago, because they’re all just shells of those people, now. They’re going through the motions, but there’s not much going on inside. 

Sometimes Lance will snap at Keith, and they’ll bicker for a little while, but there’s never any fire anymore, and Shiro knows they’re just doing it to _feel something_. 

Pidge doesn’t sleep; she’s up all night working on some formula or another. His mother used to tell him that lack of sleep would take years off of his life, but Pidge doesn’t have years left to give. Lance used to round everyone up for bed, checking on her at least three times to make sure that she was asleep, but even he’s given up, now. 

Hunk gathers what he can from the planets that they visit, and he tries to busy himself in the kitchen, but Shiro’s passed it by and seen him sitting down, staring numbly at the wall. He’s in the kitchen less and less these days, and he spends his time in Green’s hangar with Pidge. Shiro hasn’t figured out yet whether it’s for his or her benefit, or for both, perhaps, but even they don’t dub themselves “Team Punk” anymore. 

Coran wanders the halls of the castle when he’s not needed. He brightens up immediately as soon as he notices anyone, and Shiro appreciates it, he really does; it’s more than the rest of them can manage. When he thinks he’s alone though, he looks haunted, and Shiro can’t even fathom everything that must be going on in his head with everything that happened to Altea, and now this. He doesn’t see Allura. He sees her in the meetings, and when they’re doing things, but in their downtime, she’s nowhere to be found. He’s never seen her look so bad, though, with dark circles under her eyes, and she just looks… exhausted. She looks the kind of exhausted that even a months worth of sleep couldn’t help. 

Shiro’s actually found Keith passed out on the training deck, covered in bruises and cuts from when he’d just _kept going_ , level after level. He’s dragged him to a pod to heal up, and tucked him up into bed afterwards. He’s never brought it up, and neither has Keith, but it’s not the first time it’s happened, and it won’t be the last. 

And then there’s Lance. If anything, Lance is the worst. The worst shock for Shiro, or the worst affected, he can’t really tell. All he knows is that Lance used to shine so brightly; he used to be the soul of the team, with a grin on his face and a joke on his lips, and _yes_ they’d roll their eyes and chastise him, but Shiro doesn’t think he’s ever missed anything more. Lance doesn’t talk. Which… for someone like Lance - for the person that Lance used to be - it’s crushing. The silence is crushing and suffocating and deafening all at once, but Shiro doesn’t say anything either. None of them ever do. 

Lance’s room is on the way to Shiro’s, and he’s passed it and heard the muffled sobs from inside. It’s relief that he’s flooded with, actually; the thought that he’s not all gone, that there’s still someone that _feels_ in there, because Lance always felt so _much_. 

Lance likes to sit on the observation deck a lot, looking out at the stars, even though they’re not the real ones. Shiro’s joined him on more than one occasion, and it seems the starstruck little boy that he used to be is gone, because he leans right into him, completely touch starved. Sometimes he talks, and sometimes he doesn’t. Lance doesn’t stop touching him, or anyone, really. He’s desperate, and they all are. It’s been so long. So Shiro lets him, he wraps his arm around him and he holds him close and he listens to him breathe, or to the gravelly sound of his voice. He talks less and less and less. 

They’ve kissed a few times, too. Sometimes it’s soft, and sometimes it’s _desperate_ , desperate to feel something - anything. The press of their lips together, the drag of their teeth, their tongues, their breath. Nothing’s ever come of it, because frankly neither of them have the energy to even entertain the idea. Maybe in another world, they’d be in love, right now, because Lance is the kind of person that Shiro could fall madly in love with. Was. Lance _was_ the kind of person, and he thinks that he probably _was_ much quite the same.

Maybe for a moment he can entertain the thought that one day they’ll win this war, and their kisses will be filled with promise instead of anguish, and maybe they’d get a little house together, and maybe nothing would come of it, but maybe _something_ would. That’s not this world, though, that’s not this Lance, and it’s certainly not this Shiro. So Shiro will keep kissing him, rough and needy and desperate, and they’ll keep using each other to just _feel_ until it’s over. Because it will be over, one day, it just won’t involve a little house, or any more kisses, that much Shiro is sure of.

**Author's Note:**

> y e e t hope ya had fun


End file.
